The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals.
Sir William Osler, In H. Cushing, Life of Sir William Osler
The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous.
Anna Quindlen (1953 - )
Sooner or later we all quote our mothers. - Bern Williams
The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears.
Ellen Goodman (1941 - )
I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.
-- Mitch Hedberg
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
-- Quentin Crisp
Either I've been missing something or nothing has been going on.
-- Karen Elizabeth Gordon
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
Orson Welles
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Jack London
It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway. -- Evan Esar, Esar's Comic Dictionary
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity. -- Christopher Morley
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
-- Will Rogers
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
-- A. A. Milne
Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person. -- Ethel Mumford
Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
-- Blake Clark
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
-- Woody Allen
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?
Clarence Darrow
I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.
-- Rita Mae Brown
Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard.
-- Daphne du Maurier
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
-- Ellen DeGeneres, (attributed)
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.
-- Henry Stimson
The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky
Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.
-- William Hazlitt
Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.- Douglas Adams
There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise.
- Gore Vidal
I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
-- Spike Milligan, from "The Goon Show"
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
-- P. G. Wodehouse
An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.
-- Bill Vaughan
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
-- Stephen Hawking
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
-- H. L. Mencken
In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.
-- Unknown
All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
- James Thurber
Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised.
-- Marilyn Manson, I Don't Like The Media But The Media Likes Me - Columbine statement
Be the change that you want to see in the world.
-Gandhi
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
-- Mickey Mouse
One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child.
-- Randall Jarrell
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
-- Walt Disney
We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
-- John W. Gardner
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
-- George F. Will
The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.
-- David Richerby
A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
-- Thomas Mann
What others think of us would be of little moment did it not, when known, so deeply tinge what we think of ourselves.
-- Paul Valery
Art is science made clear.
-- Jean Cocteau
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
-- Woody Allen
I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.
-- Herb Caen
A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?
-- Al Boliska
The saying "Getting there is half the fun" became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines.
-- Henry J. Tillman
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987
A lie told often enough becomes the truth.
-- Lenin
Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.
-- Lane Olinghouse
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
-- Jack Benny
Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.
-- Leonardo da Vinci
Nothing says, 'I have no idea what to get you,' quite like giant beige bath towels.
-- Missbhavens, the miscellaneous mischievous misadventures of
missbhavens, 05-05-07
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
-- Unknown
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
-- Henry Kissinger
Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.
-- German Proverb
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
-- Fran Lebowitz
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
-- Herbert Henry Asquith
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
-- Jackie Mason
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
-- James Thurber
Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense.
-- Carl Sagan
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
-- Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio
